Sunday, August 20, 2006
All clear
My dad's tests scanning for cancer came back all clear, yeaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!!!!!!
Tuesday, August 15, 2006
Summer flying by so quickly... forgetting to blog
I have felt like something has been missing from my life.... oh yes.... my weekly entries summarizing my adventures.
I don't even know where to begin. How about with today? I rode my bike to work... on the road no less. The past couple of weeks I felt a combination of lazy and anxious about riding to work. I have had a lot of people yell at me for riding on the sidewalk but I am so scared to ride on the road but today I did it! Someone even stopped to let me merge in my lane... how fabulous!!!!!
Yesterday.... worked with Kevin at the Freeway... bought a Mac and got a free IPOD. This is how it worked... "Kevin, which computer shoud I buy?"...
"This one"
"Ok... let me get my VISA card"
and there we have computer shopping with Kaelyn... all on-line... in the twinkling of an eye.
Also, I was able to get an engraving on my IPOD for free. Kevin suggested "Kaelyn loves vegetables" I said, "sure". He proceeded to laugh so hard he must have almost herniated his intestines. However, I edited my engraving to "Kaelyn loves trees and vegetables".
Sunday.... felt the joys of womanhood and did not want to do anything but b&c (bitch and complain) But I trekked to the Freeway and lead a discussion group on Israel-Palestine. I was nervous. I am so sympathetic to the Palestinians and sick of Pro-Israel ideologies because of my extremist family members that I was scared that I was going to be the odd one out. But, it was a mature, balanced, inspired discussion where everyone contributed. I was also quite pleased to connect with Rachel and we ended up having very similar view points on many issues which is just so encouraging especially for me; one who has for the past year or so been so disillusioned with Christianity.
Saturday: Brother's art opening; 47 people in total showed up, worked with Erin; she got to meet my parents, so did Kevin.
Friday: Ron Sexsmith at the Festival of Friends in Gage Park; Adrian and I rode the scrambler (cost 4.50$ each (HS!!! = holy shit!!!!) Cotton candy and fries, yes!!!!!
Hmmmmm..... where to now???
The past 2 weekends before the last one we celebrated my dad's 50th birthday. The first one was a family party so all our relatives on my dad's side came. So this was the party where there was no drinknig because my dad's relatives are very conservative but we played PHASE 10 and Adrian got to meet a lot of my family which was quite fun. We also gave my dad a new mountain bike (a present my brothers and I went in on) complete with a pink basket, a duckie horn and pink streamers. Yipeeeee
The second party involved my dad's work friends and family friends and it was definetly the more wild of the two. It had rum!!!!! and of course delicious food.
What else have I been up to? Well Adrian and I are still great; we do the usual things; go on hikes, go out for icecrean, awwww so pathetically sweet.
Now I am preparing for school mode and I actually read all the things that I am going to be expected to know and learn during my first placement which begins in Febuary after my "intensive" where I will learn lots of things but some of the more hands on things include:
drawing blood from veins
knowing when and how to catherize
Auscultating fetal heart rate
Reading electronic fetal monitors
Performing a vaginal exam and knowing what to look for
Obtaining vaginal swabs
Performing uterine exams
Palpating the uterus; determining fetal size; measuring fundal height
delivering the placenta
Sampling umilical cord blood and gases
Wow, thank god that I don't have to learn how to suture (give stitches) yet; I think I have enough on my plate and to tell you the truth I am excited but scared shitless. Me, little old me, having the knowledge to do all those things? eeeepppps. I suppose I have all fall to mentally prepare.
YEA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I don't even know where to begin. How about with today? I rode my bike to work... on the road no less. The past couple of weeks I felt a combination of lazy and anxious about riding to work. I have had a lot of people yell at me for riding on the sidewalk but I am so scared to ride on the road but today I did it! Someone even stopped to let me merge in my lane... how fabulous!!!!!
Yesterday.... worked with Kevin at the Freeway... bought a Mac and got a free IPOD. This is how it worked... "Kevin, which computer shoud I buy?"...
"This one"
"Ok... let me get my VISA card"
and there we have computer shopping with Kaelyn... all on-line... in the twinkling of an eye.
Also, I was able to get an engraving on my IPOD for free. Kevin suggested "Kaelyn loves vegetables" I said, "sure". He proceeded to laugh so hard he must have almost herniated his intestines. However, I edited my engraving to "Kaelyn loves trees and vegetables".
Sunday.... felt the joys of womanhood and did not want to do anything but b&c (bitch and complain) But I trekked to the Freeway and lead a discussion group on Israel-Palestine. I was nervous. I am so sympathetic to the Palestinians and sick of Pro-Israel ideologies because of my extremist family members that I was scared that I was going to be the odd one out. But, it was a mature, balanced, inspired discussion where everyone contributed. I was also quite pleased to connect with Rachel and we ended up having very similar view points on many issues which is just so encouraging especially for me; one who has for the past year or so been so disillusioned with Christianity.
Saturday: Brother's art opening; 47 people in total showed up, worked with Erin; she got to meet my parents, so did Kevin.
Friday: Ron Sexsmith at the Festival of Friends in Gage Park; Adrian and I rode the scrambler (cost 4.50$ each (HS!!! = holy shit!!!!) Cotton candy and fries, yes!!!!!
Hmmmmm..... where to now???
The past 2 weekends before the last one we celebrated my dad's 50th birthday. The first one was a family party so all our relatives on my dad's side came. So this was the party where there was no drinknig because my dad's relatives are very conservative but we played PHASE 10 and Adrian got to meet a lot of my family which was quite fun. We also gave my dad a new mountain bike (a present my brothers and I went in on) complete with a pink basket, a duckie horn and pink streamers. Yipeeeee
The second party involved my dad's work friends and family friends and it was definetly the more wild of the two. It had rum!!!!! and of course delicious food.
What else have I been up to? Well Adrian and I are still great; we do the usual things; go on hikes, go out for icecrean, awwww so pathetically sweet.
Now I am preparing for school mode and I actually read all the things that I am going to be expected to know and learn during my first placement which begins in Febuary after my "intensive" where I will learn lots of things but some of the more hands on things include:
drawing blood from veins
knowing when and how to catherize
Auscultating fetal heart rate
Reading electronic fetal monitors
Performing a vaginal exam and knowing what to look for
Obtaining vaginal swabs
Performing uterine exams
Palpating the uterus; determining fetal size; measuring fundal height
delivering the placenta
Sampling umilical cord blood and gases
Wow, thank god that I don't have to learn how to suture (give stitches) yet; I think I have enough on my plate and to tell you the truth I am excited but scared shitless. Me, little old me, having the knowledge to do all those things? eeeepppps. I suppose I have all fall to mentally prepare.
YEA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Wednesday, July 26, 2006
Tuesday, July 18, 2006
Olive trees and Cedar trees
As I go about my day to day tasks enduring the hot Hamilton sun, half way around the world, people endure the heat under their sheet metal roofs and within their concrete walls as to avoid aerial shells, rockets and bullets... stray or intended.... Yes, the reality and presence of the Arab-Israeli war is illuminated again in Lebanon... and continues as it always seems to have been continuing , in Gaza and the West Bank. I could speak for hours about my feelings and frustrations relating to this war, especially in regards to the evangelical church's unconditional support for the state of Israel, but this blog is intended really to make it's readers to pause a moment, and think about Arabs, Christians, Jews, Atheists and everyone living in the perhaps the most beautiful part of the world under a militarized state that is only getting more restricted, violent, racist and intolerant. Please for a moment, consider the fear, stress and despair these people experience as they simply try to go to the market, raise a family, have a nap... My words do little to express some of my feelings if any.
So please, if you have time, peruse a website or two to learn more about this conflict because in recognizing the gravity of the experiences of others who endure conflict, we give recognition and legitimation to their pain, their histories and thus their identities... the act of recognizing each other in this way is essential to being human and to feeling whole.... if we do not do this, the people in the Middle East will remain as "other"... the people who live "over there"... "not here" but they are not, they are us, we are them; people...
Websites:
http://www.electronicintifada.net
http://www.electronicintifada.net/lebanon/
www.zatoun.com
Thursday, July 13, 2006
I love Tolstoy
Some of you may know that Leo Tolstoy; great Russian thinker for the late 1800s, is my favourite intellectual. He used to be an aristocrat, a rich snob, arrogant, seeking the world but his experiences in the Crimean war made him think about how senseless all those things truly are. He pondered deeply about what spirituality is in comparison to the shell of an institution that the church can be. Here are some amazing quotes, some of his, some that he quoted in his work "What is Religion, of What Does its Essence Consist?"
"True religion is that relationship, in accordance with reason and knowledge which man establishes with the infinite world around him, and which binds his life to that infinity and guides his actions."
- Tolstoy
And here are some descriptions of great thinkers who influenced Tolstoy:
"Friedrich Ernst Schleiermacher (1768-1834). German philosopher and theologian who, rather than defining religion in terms of reason or morality, sees it as a feeling of the absolute dependence of oneself as a finite being on the infinite. The infinite whole, taken as a set of things, is God, and the individual is beliebed to gain his identity, or life-unity, by developing an awareness of his particular place in nature and history..."
"Ludwig Feurbach (1804-72). Bavarian philospher and theologian... He defined religion as "the dream of the human mind", and viewed all spiritual development as properly relating to man, rather than to God. He advocated this as a conscious activity conducive to the well-being of the human speices".
Anyways, some of these thoughts inspire me because religion is not defined as a system of beliefs that you inherit or subsribe to but rather an innate human desire, passion, something that comes from within, that connects us to eternity... to existence... to God... to whatever you want to call it..... Lovin it.
"True religion is that relationship, in accordance with reason and knowledge which man establishes with the infinite world around him, and which binds his life to that infinity and guides his actions."
- Tolstoy
And here are some descriptions of great thinkers who influenced Tolstoy:
"Friedrich Ernst Schleiermacher (1768-1834). German philosopher and theologian who, rather than defining religion in terms of reason or morality, sees it as a feeling of the absolute dependence of oneself as a finite being on the infinite. The infinite whole, taken as a set of things, is God, and the individual is beliebed to gain his identity, or life-unity, by developing an awareness of his particular place in nature and history..."
"Ludwig Feurbach (1804-72). Bavarian philospher and theologian... He defined religion as "the dream of the human mind", and viewed all spiritual development as properly relating to man, rather than to God. He advocated this as a conscious activity conducive to the well-being of the human speices".
Anyways, some of these thoughts inspire me because religion is not defined as a system of beliefs that you inherit or subsribe to but rather an innate human desire, passion, something that comes from within, that connects us to eternity... to existence... to God... to whatever you want to call it..... Lovin it.
Wednesday, July 12, 2006
Adrian's Birthday
Jacob wishing Adrian such a happy birthday!!!
Adrian in front of his snare drum chocolate cake
Adrian in front of his snare drum chocolate cake
Margie, oh Margie... Doing the honours of punishing Adrian for being an hour late for his own birthday party because he "wasn't feeling well".... hmmmmm....
Monday, July 10, 2006
Joyful noise
Just a note: the photos go in reverse order of what I tried to do... my bad.... My weekend involved a lot of spasticity... music... oma and yes even pirates, but we musn't forget giant cokes and mc hammer car bouncing.
So... where to begin.... Friday, I left work at the Freeway only to return a couple of hours later to meet Miranda and Erin to see some emo music at Absinthe. Came back to Freeway, enjoyed the Acoustics to be followed by helping Adrian and Carolyn close while practicing Kung Fu on Adrian while wearing 4 inch heels, YES!!!!!!!!!! I ended the night with a pita from the pit, nice.
Day 2... Saturday.... Weils bakery and fair trade coffee.... rush to Adrian's to accompany him to a jam session. So, I got to see him play serious drums for the first time ever and let me just say that he just became 10x hotter. Im crazy about him anyways but he is actually really, really good. I'm sure I just sat there with my jaw dropped the whole time. His bandmates are pretty good too, it sounded like Metallica, nice!!!!!
Then.... off to Oma and Opa's house. Adrian had a fun line up of meeting not only my parents but my grandparents too... at the same time!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! It was fun. Then we randomly decided to see Pirates of the Carribean. Adrian buys the tickets, litters away the receipt and then off to Lick's. Adrian is so thirsty so he orders a large Coke that cost $3.18. WTF??? Then we see why, the pics explain the rest. Get's cold, still not movie time, sit in car, dancing to Hammer and other 80s classics. Car bounces, people stare, ha ha ha ha ha.... Adrian asks if I have the movie ticks... I say, "no"..... Evidently, when Adrian hackee-sacked the receipt away, he also littered away our movie ticks. Nice one Age, nice one.... Luckily the lady remembered us and escorted us through and I had to cut a few ladies off cause they were standing in the way!!!! oh vell, I try not to be rude but I had dirty pirates on the brain. Needless to say, Pirates of the Carribean was so awesome. Adrian got a little scared at some parts so I held his hand and told him it would be okay... he made it through... At the very end, when the suprise ending happened, Adrian shouted out loud, "Oh no" just like how a 5 year old would, nice!!!
Day 3..... Sunday....
Woke up feeling panicky, I couldn't quite fall asleep because I felt like I had so many things to do and not enough time. I had a little stress fest for no reason, strange, why do I do that? Anyways, got on it, did some errands.... No Frills is a scary place on the weekend... have to wait in line just to move your cart... wait in line to reach the tomatoes, geeeeeeez..... finally get out, pick up Adrian and meet my bro and Bonnie and Nick to car pool to SCENE music fest. Stop at Booster Juice, drank my whole juice, felt sick after, too much fruit.... Literally felt like giant blueberry girl from Willy Wonka and Chocolate Factory.
Let me tell you what Scene was like.... To summarize; awesome.... 120 bands playing at various venues in St Catherines. We walked to the main stage; Market Square... saw a bit of City and Colour, honestly thought it was boring so Adrian and I walked. Came across a little bar the featured some metal bands so we stopped in... two doors down saw Infinite Machine who are from Hamilton and a bit of the Johnstones. All the members of Infinite Machine were so talented and the drummer was a really hot chick, I was like hell ya, you go!!!!!!
Saw more bands.... middle eastern food for dinner.... Adrian and I were walking and see a waterfront and decide to walk and check it out and when we get closer, it disappears and all we see are highways.... St Catherines tricked us both!!!!!!!!!
Finished the night off with Alexis on Fire then the last of Tokyo Police Club and get back to the Hammer at around 12ish.
It was truly and awesome weekend!
Wednesday, July 05, 2006
Sleeping
I am always tired. All I want to do is sleep. I get home from work and all I want to do is nap. I usually do not stay up late. I wake up at 7:30, why am I so tired? If you know, please tell me.
Anyways, this weekend I was able to do plenty of what I love most.
But first, on Friday, Erin and I were superheroes. We catered a huge job!!!! I got to The Freeway at 8am and started setting up a beautiful continental breakfast. Erin arrived shortly after 9am and by that time the place was full of Lawson staff. We catered breakfast, lunch and drinks all day for 37 people. The lunch was custom, so we collected all their orders and go cracking right away. Once 11am hit, we were constantly running. All the counter space was filled up and by the time we were finished making all the sandwiches we were out of dishes and sink and bin space to put more dirty dishes. I had never wanted to wash dishes so badly. All in all, it went pretty smoothly. We had a few weirdos in the crowd like a girl who wanted ice for her tea and pouted at us when we told her we had no ice. Or the girl who said she didn't like this place because we didn't have a green bin. Yes... because we are responsible for city by-laws. Take it to city hall sister and pipe down while I get your dessert.... sheesh....
Anyways, 8-6... long day but Adrian visited me at around 4:30 ish and let me release some of my verbal stresses and he dealt with some knots in my shoulders... you are the best! Then as soon as Kristyn and Miranda showed up I was out of there as fast as I could be and on my way home.
Had fun with parents. We watched tonnes of movies including Fun with Dick and Jane which is quite hilarious.
Saturday, family went to cottage but I decided to stay at home and sleep and honestly that is all I had the strength to do. As soon as I would try to get up my muscles would ache and tell me to sit back down. It was all good though because BBC Canada had a What Not to Wear marathon and I watched 6hours of it. Yes!!!!!
Sunday, watched the missed episodes of Cornation Street. Poor Jamie, I can't believe that Danny and Leanne got caught cheating, that was so scandalous, oh my..... My parents and I made some fancy drink cocktails; Fuzzy Navels and read and slept in the backyard. Good sleepy times aided with cocktails.
Monday, my productive day; helped clean house, baked Adrian's birthday cake, yummy yummy!!!!!
But this weekend, I also found out that my dad's cancer is back. He had a surgery this week and we are hoping it is all gone but we shall wait and see. I am not worried until I need to be. But whatever happens, everyone needs to know that he is the best dad ever and he doesn't need to worry about me...
Anyways, this weekend I was able to do plenty of what I love most.
But first, on Friday, Erin and I were superheroes. We catered a huge job!!!! I got to The Freeway at 8am and started setting up a beautiful continental breakfast. Erin arrived shortly after 9am and by that time the place was full of Lawson staff. We catered breakfast, lunch and drinks all day for 37 people. The lunch was custom, so we collected all their orders and go cracking right away. Once 11am hit, we were constantly running. All the counter space was filled up and by the time we were finished making all the sandwiches we were out of dishes and sink and bin space to put more dirty dishes. I had never wanted to wash dishes so badly. All in all, it went pretty smoothly. We had a few weirdos in the crowd like a girl who wanted ice for her tea and pouted at us when we told her we had no ice. Or the girl who said she didn't like this place because we didn't have a green bin. Yes... because we are responsible for city by-laws. Take it to city hall sister and pipe down while I get your dessert.... sheesh....
Anyways, 8-6... long day but Adrian visited me at around 4:30 ish and let me release some of my verbal stresses and he dealt with some knots in my shoulders... you are the best! Then as soon as Kristyn and Miranda showed up I was out of there as fast as I could be and on my way home.
Had fun with parents. We watched tonnes of movies including Fun with Dick and Jane which is quite hilarious.
Saturday, family went to cottage but I decided to stay at home and sleep and honestly that is all I had the strength to do. As soon as I would try to get up my muscles would ache and tell me to sit back down. It was all good though because BBC Canada had a What Not to Wear marathon and I watched 6hours of it. Yes!!!!!
Sunday, watched the missed episodes of Cornation Street. Poor Jamie, I can't believe that Danny and Leanne got caught cheating, that was so scandalous, oh my..... My parents and I made some fancy drink cocktails; Fuzzy Navels and read and slept in the backyard. Good sleepy times aided with cocktails.
Monday, my productive day; helped clean house, baked Adrian's birthday cake, yummy yummy!!!!!
But this weekend, I also found out that my dad's cancer is back. He had a surgery this week and we are hoping it is all gone but we shall wait and see. I am not worried until I need to be. But whatever happens, everyone needs to know that he is the best dad ever and he doesn't need to worry about me...
Monday, June 26, 2006
Walking, standing, sitting, sweating
To sum up...
Friday night I wore my cute new white shoes that literally slit my heels leaving little blood stains on my shoes, poor me, fashion kills, yes I know, but sometimes it is worth it.... jury is out on this one though, my feet still hurt and it is now Monday.
My brothers visited the freeway and then we went to Slainte's with Adrian...
Saturday... oh yes, get ready to be jealous..... I saw: Jay Mathus, Raising the Fawn, Feist, Bloc Party and Broken Social Scene at Olympic Island on Toronto Centre Island. It was so fun.... So standing.... in line for the ferry; packed like sardines, baking on a cookie sheet, oh lord.... fat American man sticking his beer belly in my back, ew!.... I tried utilizing my elbows but it felt as though they just got stuck, ew!!.... Okay, meditate.... I am somewhere else.....
Got to island... Sat on grass.... all day.... watched bands..... awesome.... several naps.... sat in sun..... ate a rainbow popsicle... It's one of two pictures I managed to get as I had forgotten to charge my batteries.... dammit! Also had a veggie dog, 5$ wahoo.... this better be good.... It was... that's all I ate all day though besides my post-Jack Daniels the night before breakfast of pancakes and eggs, thanks Snooty Fox!!!
Bloc Party played all my favourites including "This Modern Love" I love the cheese so bring it on! After I went to play video games at Adrian's... fun fun
Sunday: Here is where the walking gets intense... Adrian and I walked maybe a total of 20 kilometers and just for fun. I had a car, we had the bus but no, we wanted to walk. We walked to the Upper James plaza from his house. Went to Bulk Barn where I bought some cake decorating supplies. Went to a sunglasses store and I bought the least knock-off looking of the bunch (not having a big D & G or a big CC). Then we walked down the escarpment stairs and decided we wanted a patio beer so we walked to Hess village. Then, we walked to Jackson Square where I got sucked into Harmony, ohhhh on the way, I got sucked into Deja View, tried on some shirts and more sunglasses. I got the one that Adrian said looks like a grandma's shirt, "yes!!!!" and some oversized white sunglasses....
Then after, we tried to get falafel but the good place was closed so we walked.... walked to Hamilton General... visited Jane, I love Jane!!!!
Then we needed to get to the Freeway but oh so hungry!!!! Went into a pizza place... um... way too sketchy.... Is that cardboard the pizza???? We went to sub place... this will do, way too hungry.... Adrian ordered the meatball sub... he is brave... I got the veggie on wholewheat.... The man behind the counter thought it was funny...
All in all... good weekend but my feet need a break.
Sunday, June 18, 2006
What a weekend part 2
Strawberry picking with Susan and Zhoe who happened to drop many strawberries and thus had to eat them because they were no good for the basket, tee hee.....
Barbeque was a blast; here are some pics
There are some crazy kids in this community, but they are adorable!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! But poor poor Kevin.
What a weekend
Friday night I went to the Six Nations Benefit Concert at Cheifswood park and it was soooooooooooo fun. It had everything a festival should have; fried food, vendors, bands, trees and lots of beautiful people to watch. Pernell and Mark were really fun to hang out with and Steve, thanks for the cigar; so fun and unexpected! Erin you are always fun and you know it; fun sharing the cigar with you. Adrian, be more careful with your knee next time... you could have really hurt Pernell. Anyways, to say the least Freeway people are fun and they are less and less known as Freeway people and more and more just considered my friends, awwww cute moment! Here are some pictures!
Friday, June 16, 2006
Flooooooooooooooowwwwwwweeeers!!!!!!!!!!!!
Adrian came over yesterday and these are what he brought me!!!!!!!!!!!!! Just had to brag 'cause that is what a blog is for and now you all can tease him for being sooooo cute!!!!!!!!! Thanks again, Adrian.
Tuesday, June 13, 2006
Howard's opening
Randy laughing with Howard and below; what a cute couple!, me practicing bellydancing in front of my painting and me with the lovely Abby!
WTF Indeed
There is explicit profanity in this blog so please seek parental guidance...
The past few days have been interesting. Howard's art opening was good and I will be posting pictures later. I went home this weekend and on my way back, on the 407, nearby where I needed my last tow, I got a flat!!!! My tire was shredded!!! So, we pay how much money to use the 407 and they can't even get the fucking shit off the road that will destroy my car??? The CAA guy told me he is suprised I didn't have a serious spill with a tear like that in my tire. So, that's that. At least the tire change was covered by CAA membership.
Monday, tired....
Good day at work... busy busy.... And then a man comes in, looks at the art and goes up to Randy and says a horrible, ignorant comment about the art that really, really pissed me off (and Randy too). I am just glad he went up to Randy and not me because I am sick of dealing with snotty people! And then, he comes up to the bar, asks me how I am and peruses the menu and lets out a "hmph" and walks out. Gosh fucking dammit, some people.
okay, so now to fix my tires. Go to Canadian Tire at the recommendation of my father and the CAA guy. As I pull into the parking lot which has room for both directions of traffic I hear a voice shouting and I realize that it was directed at me a little too late for me to respond. I heard shouted at me.... are you ready for this... too good to be true.... "Get out of my fucking way... stupid" This coming from a sweet, plump, middle aged white woman in her Ford Taurus circa 1991. I was so angry and I really wanted to say.... wait, don't hold this against me but I just have to get it out just once, please..... "Fuck you! you stupid white trash bitch, why don't you get out and say that to my face!!!!!" But, I didn't have time. C'est la vie.
Okay, so I go to get a price on my tires... The CAA guy and my brother who is a mechanic who works at another Canadian Tire told me they should average 60 or 70$ each. I get a price; 113$ per tire. Okay, how much for 2? He tells me 311$. I ask, "how does it nearly triple?" He says, "Installation fees" I say, "No thanks... I'll go somewhere else..."
I was so mad just because I don't feel like doing shit like getting oil changes and flat tires is such a waste of life and there are a million things I'd rather be doing and I don't want to spend 300$ on something I consider to be a waste of life!
So I go home, throat a little tight from feeling like I was potentially being ripped off and the stupid lady in the parking lot. I called Firestone, got a price, 89$ per tire, SWEET! Installation and balancing included, Double-Sweet!!!!
So that will be done on Thursday
I feel like all this dumb shit to do with my car etc, is tiring me out, so I cancelled myself volunteering at the CCR refugee conference at York University this weekend. I just feel too tired, too stressed and the summer is whizzing by and I feel as busy as when I am in school so I put my foot down and said, "no, I must sit on my ass!" So Adrian, "buy me some beer so we can sit on our asses!" And, I want to go Strawberry picking, does anyone want to come or know of a good farm nearby?
So, after all this, well... it's not all bad; Sunday I got to see Adrian eat a veggie dog, that was fun and last night my good friend Diane called me after being away on a roadtrip for a month and a half so yippee! And, I went to sit and read at around 830pm and I fell asleep and didn't wake up until 7am this morning, SWEET!!!!!!
The past few days have been interesting. Howard's art opening was good and I will be posting pictures later. I went home this weekend and on my way back, on the 407, nearby where I needed my last tow, I got a flat!!!! My tire was shredded!!! So, we pay how much money to use the 407 and they can't even get the fucking shit off the road that will destroy my car??? The CAA guy told me he is suprised I didn't have a serious spill with a tear like that in my tire. So, that's that. At least the tire change was covered by CAA membership.
Monday, tired....
Good day at work... busy busy.... And then a man comes in, looks at the art and goes up to Randy and says a horrible, ignorant comment about the art that really, really pissed me off (and Randy too). I am just glad he went up to Randy and not me because I am sick of dealing with snotty people! And then, he comes up to the bar, asks me how I am and peruses the menu and lets out a "hmph" and walks out. Gosh fucking dammit, some people.
okay, so now to fix my tires. Go to Canadian Tire at the recommendation of my father and the CAA guy. As I pull into the parking lot which has room for both directions of traffic I hear a voice shouting and I realize that it was directed at me a little too late for me to respond. I heard shouted at me.... are you ready for this... too good to be true.... "Get out of my fucking way... stupid" This coming from a sweet, plump, middle aged white woman in her Ford Taurus circa 1991. I was so angry and I really wanted to say.... wait, don't hold this against me but I just have to get it out just once, please..... "Fuck you! you stupid white trash bitch, why don't you get out and say that to my face!!!!!" But, I didn't have time. C'est la vie.
Okay, so I go to get a price on my tires... The CAA guy and my brother who is a mechanic who works at another Canadian Tire told me they should average 60 or 70$ each. I get a price; 113$ per tire. Okay, how much for 2? He tells me 311$. I ask, "how does it nearly triple?" He says, "Installation fees" I say, "No thanks... I'll go somewhere else..."
I was so mad just because I don't feel like doing shit like getting oil changes and flat tires is such a waste of life and there are a million things I'd rather be doing and I don't want to spend 300$ on something I consider to be a waste of life!
So I go home, throat a little tight from feeling like I was potentially being ripped off and the stupid lady in the parking lot. I called Firestone, got a price, 89$ per tire, SWEET! Installation and balancing included, Double-Sweet!!!!
So that will be done on Thursday
I feel like all this dumb shit to do with my car etc, is tiring me out, so I cancelled myself volunteering at the CCR refugee conference at York University this weekend. I just feel too tired, too stressed and the summer is whizzing by and I feel as busy as when I am in school so I put my foot down and said, "no, I must sit on my ass!" So Adrian, "buy me some beer so we can sit on our asses!" And, I want to go Strawberry picking, does anyone want to come or know of a good farm nearby?
So, after all this, well... it's not all bad; Sunday I got to see Adrian eat a veggie dog, that was fun and last night my good friend Diane called me after being away on a roadtrip for a month and a half so yippee! And, I went to sit and read at around 830pm and I fell asleep and didn't wake up until 7am this morning, SWEET!!!!!!
Tuesday, June 06, 2006
the cafe
the cafe was busy today!!!!
I was tired after work!!!!
Erin, my client and I were busy!!!!
I had a lunch rush!!! I had to multitask like crazy
And then I came home and had mail!!!! A wedding invitation to my friends' wedding; Dave and Jenn, congrats!!!!!!! Also, my cds came in the mail!!!! Kill Bill vol 1 soundtrack, Death Cab "Plans" and James Blunt, so yes, I am "beautiful" thanks James Blunt.
Erin, you have good eyes, wink wink...
Saturday, June 03, 2006
What? a day? My day? today? what happened?
So, worked at freeway. good....
went to brooklyn's engagement party where I watched her get married under beautiful trees and raindrops..... beautiful.... unexpected... natural.... just about them.... not a production but truly a celebration... congratulations and thank you for openly sharing that moment.....
Went to drive home.... walked to car... soaked.... car warms me up.... on highway... wipers stop!!!!! ahhhh, what do i do? pull over.... flashers... call daddy... DADDY!!!!!!! wipers not working...call CAA.... boo hoo boo hoo....... wait for tow truck.... half an hour... OPP checks on me.... 407 engineer checks on me.... where is my tow-truck???..... He comes. I get in. BIG MUSCLES!!!! voice of the movie commericials.... so weird.... We go, he takes a wrong turn... Hey that's my mileage that is rackin' up.... stops for a pop.... that is 0.1 km!!!!!
Talk about midwifery.... his ex relationships.... dating.... so weird!!!!!.... he tells me I have honest eyes and a voice that puts people at ease and he told me that I made his day.... that was nice but.... ah!..... He was nice, not to worry....
But what a day... never made it home.... never made it home to play pool and drink beers with the fam.... maybe next week.
It's all good though, as soon as I pulled over my friend Care called me and said she was coming to hamilton and I said well yes, I will be there as a matter of fact... so everything worked out... nice.... so now I am off to catch up with a midwifery bud over some beers.... the fountain of life? jokes.... everyone knows that that is coffee!!!!!
went to brooklyn's engagement party where I watched her get married under beautiful trees and raindrops..... beautiful.... unexpected... natural.... just about them.... not a production but truly a celebration... congratulations and thank you for openly sharing that moment.....
Went to drive home.... walked to car... soaked.... car warms me up.... on highway... wipers stop!!!!! ahhhh, what do i do? pull over.... flashers... call daddy... DADDY!!!!!!! wipers not working...call CAA.... boo hoo boo hoo....... wait for tow truck.... half an hour... OPP checks on me.... 407 engineer checks on me.... where is my tow-truck???..... He comes. I get in. BIG MUSCLES!!!! voice of the movie commericials.... so weird.... We go, he takes a wrong turn... Hey that's my mileage that is rackin' up.... stops for a pop.... that is 0.1 km!!!!!
Talk about midwifery.... his ex relationships.... dating.... so weird!!!!!.... he tells me I have honest eyes and a voice that puts people at ease and he told me that I made his day.... that was nice but.... ah!..... He was nice, not to worry....
But what a day... never made it home.... never made it home to play pool and drink beers with the fam.... maybe next week.
It's all good though, as soon as I pulled over my friend Care called me and said she was coming to hamilton and I said well yes, I will be there as a matter of fact... so everything worked out... nice.... so now I am off to catch up with a midwifery bud over some beers.... the fountain of life? jokes.... everyone knows that that is coffee!!!!!
Busy Busy
I have to log about the funniest thing that happened yesterday. Kevin almost made me pee my pants. Kevin was giving me a ride home and then with a serious tone, asked me to explain to him what it means to be a witch, to which I respond, I know nothing about being a witch, I grew up Christian. Kevin drops his jaw and bursts out laughing (while driving). Kevin thought I was a witch (he also thought I was something else but you will have to ask him for that story, lol).
To clarify my ambigious identity, I am a heterosexual woman with no specific form of spirituality at this time. I want to learn about Wiccan because the values and knowledge of that faith tradition seem important to me but I am not a witch, Kevin, but I am training to be a midwife.... HA ha ha ha ha ha (and no, that was not a witch's cackle).
After Kevin dropped me home I went back down town to the Hamilton Art Gallery and checked out with my friend Gupreet, the Van Gogh exhibit and a monthly presentation put on by the Baha'i faith association of Hamilton called Soul Food. It was really interesting; held in a room in the art gallery -- interludes of Spanish guitar and readings of sacred and meaningful texts. And what was the subject matter you ask. Well let me tell you. Trees, nature, trees. It was created for me, lol. No, it was created for everyone.
Here are some of those wicked-awesome passages, lol:
Suburbia is where the developer bulldozes out the trees, then names the streets after them. -Bill Vaughan
We cannot segregate the human heart from the environment outside us and say that once one of these is reformed everything will be improved. Man is organic upon the other and every abiding change in the life of man is the result of these mutual reactions. - Shoghi Effendi, from the Baha'i writings
When you enter a grove peopled with ancient trees, higher than the ordinary, and shutting out the sky with their thickly inter-twined branches, do not the stately shadows of the wood, the stillness of the place, and the awful gloom of this doomed cavern then strike you with the presence of a deity? - Seneca
And here is something that seems to sum up so so so many of my feelings and values:
The tree which moves some to tears of joy is in the eyes of others only a green thing that stands in the way. Some see nature all ridicule and deformity, and some scarce see Nature at all. But to the eyes of the man of imagination, Nature is imagination itself. - William Blake, "The letters" 1799.
Nature is imagination itself.... Nature is imagination itself... Nature is imagination itself... He says it so simply yet it is so profound. This is so contradictory to our society where there is little room if any for imagination. This speaks so much to me because I can honestly look out my window for hours, stare at the tree branches and not consider it a waste of time. I am looking into something that words cannot adequately capture but Blake does a damn good job, "imagination itself".....
To clarify my ambigious identity, I am a heterosexual woman with no specific form of spirituality at this time. I want to learn about Wiccan because the values and knowledge of that faith tradition seem important to me but I am not a witch, Kevin, but I am training to be a midwife.... HA ha ha ha ha ha (and no, that was not a witch's cackle).
After Kevin dropped me home I went back down town to the Hamilton Art Gallery and checked out with my friend Gupreet, the Van Gogh exhibit and a monthly presentation put on by the Baha'i faith association of Hamilton called Soul Food. It was really interesting; held in a room in the art gallery -- interludes of Spanish guitar and readings of sacred and meaningful texts. And what was the subject matter you ask. Well let me tell you. Trees, nature, trees. It was created for me, lol. No, it was created for everyone.
Here are some of those wicked-awesome passages, lol:
Suburbia is where the developer bulldozes out the trees, then names the streets after them. -Bill Vaughan
We cannot segregate the human heart from the environment outside us and say that once one of these is reformed everything will be improved. Man is organic upon the other and every abiding change in the life of man is the result of these mutual reactions. - Shoghi Effendi, from the Baha'i writings
When you enter a grove peopled with ancient trees, higher than the ordinary, and shutting out the sky with their thickly inter-twined branches, do not the stately shadows of the wood, the stillness of the place, and the awful gloom of this doomed cavern then strike you with the presence of a deity? - Seneca
And here is something that seems to sum up so so so many of my feelings and values:
The tree which moves some to tears of joy is in the eyes of others only a green thing that stands in the way. Some see nature all ridicule and deformity, and some scarce see Nature at all. But to the eyes of the man of imagination, Nature is imagination itself. - William Blake, "The letters" 1799.
Nature is imagination itself.... Nature is imagination itself... Nature is imagination itself... He says it so simply yet it is so profound. This is so contradictory to our society where there is little room if any for imagination. This speaks so much to me because I can honestly look out my window for hours, stare at the tree branches and not consider it a waste of time. I am looking into something that words cannot adequately capture but Blake does a damn good job, "imagination itself".....
Thursday, June 01, 2006
at work
the ac is finally working. Buzzed off two cups of coffee. Listening to the strokes... I have already had three no... four awesome customers. You know what I love to see that happens here all the time!!!!???? When customers who are strangers outside the front doors feel free to meet and greet each other inside the warm, cozy atmosphere of our lovely cafe. It gives me the good kind of chills and makes me so happy I can feel it in my cheeks like Welch's Grape Juice.
This entry is a shout out to all the things that make me happy right now in this very moment; I am savouring every bit of it: Abby wanting to do Henna on me and our conversations about trees; coffee coffee coffee; Adrian always making me laugh; my parents visiting and seeing how happy I am; Erin oh Erin, I love you; my awesome clients; the salsa I made last night (I put kiwi in it... mmmmmm...) there is so much more, so so so much more... basically everyone at the freeway... Hamilton... okay.... I am going overboard but if you need anything from me... now is a good time cause clearly I am in such a good mood... take advantage before I get pissy! lol!!!
This entry is a shout out to all the things that make me happy right now in this very moment; I am savouring every bit of it: Abby wanting to do Henna on me and our conversations about trees; coffee coffee coffee; Adrian always making me laugh; my parents visiting and seeing how happy I am; Erin oh Erin, I love you; my awesome clients; the salsa I made last night (I put kiwi in it... mmmmmm...) there is so much more, so so so much more... basically everyone at the freeway... Hamilton... okay.... I am going overboard but if you need anything from me... now is a good time cause clearly I am in such a good mood... take advantage before I get pissy! lol!!!
Monday, May 29, 2006
Imogen Heap and melting
I used to think that I would melt just by going into a church because I am a witch.... no joking.... I wish I were but today at work the air conditioner wasn't working; I was mopping; moving furniture; had a client and and and I rode my bike to work. SO yes, I did melt in the freeway but not because I am a witch but because it is so fucking hot out.
Anyways... Imogen Heap on Saturday... fan-bloody-tastic. I marvel at how coordinated she is. She introduced us to her band: her beat box, her laptop, her thinga magigy? her keyboards, her keytar, and her loop recorder (i don't know what anything is truly called.... that's the thing that plays back anything she records). She started with an acapela version of Just for now. She also played all my other favs like frou frou's let go, and then hide and seek, say good night and go and her version of hallelujah. Hooray for summer concerts and going to Toronto with Erin, crusing with the Stills in the player... Erin, "you rock, rock!" Not that you are a rock but I know that we both love I heart Huckabees so let's go stand in the valley at dusk.
Anyways... Imogen Heap on Saturday... fan-bloody-tastic. I marvel at how coordinated she is. She introduced us to her band: her beat box, her laptop, her thinga magigy? her keyboards, her keytar, and her loop recorder (i don't know what anything is truly called.... that's the thing that plays back anything she records). She started with an acapela version of Just for now. She also played all my other favs like frou frou's let go, and then hide and seek, say good night and go and her version of hallelujah. Hooray for summer concerts and going to Toronto with Erin, crusing with the Stills in the player... Erin, "you rock, rock!" Not that you are a rock but I know that we both love I heart Huckabees so let's go stand in the valley at dusk.
Sunday, May 28, 2006
Here is something I read... I get lightbulbs...
"In his Psychologie der Weltanschauugen, Jaspers breaks with traditional philosophy. In that work, he portrays and relativizes all philosophical systems as mythologizing structures to which man flees seeking protection from the real questions of his existence... Jaspers sees [these systems of philosophy] that claim to have grasped the meaning of life and systems that present themselves as "coherant systems of the Whole" as mere hollow "shells" that interfere with the experiencing of "border situations" and confer a false peace of mind that is inherently unphilosophical...." Hannah Arendt in Essays in Understanding: 1930-1954, Formation, Exile and Totalitarianism.
I like this argument. We all have our ways of making sense of the world; our politics, religion, philosophies, consumption, sequential life goals... whatever.... Is it possible that all these things that we are trained to create distract us from real raw experience? Or is real raw experience embedded in these things. Jaspers argues that these philosophies give us a false sense of peace. A sense of control in a world that is under the surface of things really truly chaotic and that prevent us from experiencing "border situations". Border situations.... perhaps where we feel most out of our element, most out of control.... when things fall apart or when things seem so perfect that all of these systems of meaning do not matter in comparison to what we feel deep within. I don't know, sex for the first time, getting robbed, having someone close die, giving birth.... These situations seem like border situations that in one way or another define our lives, teach us and transform us. I think it is a powerful and scary thing to wonder if all our comforts, all our musings about why and how the world is... a rational portrait of life and existence for example through religion.... does that interfere with our experience of the real? the border situations? Interesting to think about...
"In his Psychologie der Weltanschauugen, Jaspers breaks with traditional philosophy. In that work, he portrays and relativizes all philosophical systems as mythologizing structures to which man flees seeking protection from the real questions of his existence... Jaspers sees [these systems of philosophy] that claim to have grasped the meaning of life and systems that present themselves as "coherant systems of the Whole" as mere hollow "shells" that interfere with the experiencing of "border situations" and confer a false peace of mind that is inherently unphilosophical...." Hannah Arendt in Essays in Understanding: 1930-1954, Formation, Exile and Totalitarianism.
I like this argument. We all have our ways of making sense of the world; our politics, religion, philosophies, consumption, sequential life goals... whatever.... Is it possible that all these things that we are trained to create distract us from real raw experience? Or is real raw experience embedded in these things. Jaspers argues that these philosophies give us a false sense of peace. A sense of control in a world that is under the surface of things really truly chaotic and that prevent us from experiencing "border situations". Border situations.... perhaps where we feel most out of our element, most out of control.... when things fall apart or when things seem so perfect that all of these systems of meaning do not matter in comparison to what we feel deep within. I don't know, sex for the first time, getting robbed, having someone close die, giving birth.... These situations seem like border situations that in one way or another define our lives, teach us and transform us. I think it is a powerful and scary thing to wonder if all our comforts, all our musings about why and how the world is... a rational portrait of life and existence for example through religion.... does that interfere with our experience of the real? the border situations? Interesting to think about...
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