Imogen Heap and melting

I used to think that I would melt just by going into a church because I am a witch.... no joking.... I wish I were but today at work the air conditioner wasn't working; I was mopping; moving furniture; had a client and and and I rode my bike to work. SO yes, I did melt in the freeway but not because I am a witch but because it is so fucking hot out.

Anyways... Imogen Heap on Saturday... fan-bloody-tastic. I marvel at how coordinated she is. She introduced us to her band: her beat box, her laptop, her thinga magigy? her keyboards, her keytar, and her loop recorder (i don't know what anything is truly called.... that's the thing that plays back anything she records). She started with an acapela version of Just for now. She also played all my other favs like frou frou's let go, and then hide and seek, say good night and go and her version of hallelujah. Hooray for summer concerts and going to Toronto with Erin, crusing with the Stills in the player... Erin, "you rock, rock!" Not that you are a rock but I know that we both love I heart Huckabees so let's go stand in the valley at dusk.

Here is something I read... I get lightbulbs...

"In his Psychologie der Weltanschauugen, Jaspers breaks with traditional philosophy. In that work, he portrays and relativizes all philosophical systems as mythologizing structures to which man flees seeking protection from the real questions of his existence... Jaspers sees [these systems of philosophy] that claim to have grasped the meaning of life and systems that present themselves as "coherant systems of the Whole" as mere hollow "shells" that interfere with the experiencing of "border situations" and confer a false peace of mind that is inherently unphilosophical...." Hannah Arendt in Essays in Understanding: 1930-1954, Formation, Exile and Totalitarianism.

I like this argument. We all have our ways of making sense of the world; our politics, religion, philosophies, consumption, sequential life goals... whatever.... Is it possible that all these things that we are trained to create distract us from real raw experience? Or is real raw experience embedded in these things. Jaspers argues that these philosophies give us a false sense of peace. A sense of control in a world that is under the surface of things really truly chaotic and that prevent us from experiencing "border situations". Border situations.... perhaps where we feel most out of our element, most out of control.... when things fall apart or when things seem so perfect that all of these systems of meaning do not matter in comparison to what we feel deep within. I don't know, sex for the first time, getting robbed, having someone close die, giving birth.... These situations seem like border situations that in one way or another define our lives, teach us and transform us. I think it is a powerful and scary thing to wonder if all our comforts, all our musings about why and how the world is... a rational portrait of life and existence for example through religion.... does that interfere with our experience of the real? the border situations? Interesting to think about...

London

First day: Robbed!
I was already going into a stressful situation, enough said. First day, I get pick pocketed. The weather started out nice but as soon as we exited the Nottinghill Underground stop it started pissing from the sky. Trying to open my umbrella without stabbing anyone in the eye was my first challenge. Then I was in la la la land musing about Portabello road market. I wanted a coffee and then I realized my wallet was gone. It felt like all the blood rushed from my head down to my toes and out into the cobbles. Without speaking a word, tears began to fill my eyes and stream down my face. I didn't use my umbrella anymore. I wanted my heavy feeling body to be soaked by the cool rain. I wanted my face, tight with stress to be washed away. We walked and walked and walked to the police station following a bumbling moron of a copper. He was nice and all... asked me how many cards were stolen probably a total of 14 times. On the way my lovely sandals I had just bought in Cuba fell apart. My trip began to fall apart as symbolized by my shoes disintegrating before my very eyes. There I was barefooted, crying in the streets of London. I dug my toes into the cobbles, embracing the dirty rain puddles, wanting to feel every bit of this ugliness.
That sounds shitty eh? believe it or not, I had fun. Yes, I did need a whiskey or two to fall asleep most nights of the week but London is a great city and yes, I spoke with my heart to the beautiful old trees in the beautiful old parks and no my heaviness did not dissapate but I swam through my feelings of heaviness and embraced it and still had a good time. Here are just a few of the 580 pictures.

In trees I find the most pronounced experience of god. Trees carry history, widsom.... In it's roots, trunk and branches are the impressions of generations that have passed. The simplicity of their function; purifying the air, anchoring the earth and protecting those under them reflect some of the most essential elements of life and god. Then I threw in a random William Blake piece cause his art is fucking awesome, exploding with raw emotion... that's romantic-gothic for you. Most of these tree pictures are olive trees. Many olive trees in Israel-Palestine are hundreds and hundreds of years old and tie families to the land and their ancestry. Olive trees are an important symbol for Palestinian nationalism. One of the biggest grievances against the Palestinian people is the destruction of their communities via the uprooting of these ancient trees. Personally, I find this act tragic and demoralizing because of the spirt and the pure and simple reflection of god and creation that trees encompass. My point? Is there a point to writing a blog... not really.... now you just know that I really love trees but maybe, just maybe.... you will want to learn more about the sustained conflict in Israel-Palestine and the various fronts on which this battle is fought.

Random snapshots of my life since I owned a digital camera

Above: Nellie bellie; one of dogs... tee hee, she is smiling and wearing a hat. How precious.
This is some of my midwifery class.... we like to party, drink champagne... although I hate wine and champagne, bleh.... But I love brownies...

This is a Strawberry Chocolate Mousse cake. A beautiful creation... yes I made this, I used to be a cake decorator at my old job.... so fun....
These are the great kids I used to work with at Sunnydale Community Centre in Waterloo. Mark on the left spoke better English than I did as a 4 year old recently immigrated from Africa. He's awesome.
Canoeing with lillypads.... sorry frogs for disturbing your habitat. I am the oppressor.

What... a blog? who me? who is reading this?.... If you like hearing about trees and the senselessness of everything then welcome... welcome....