Wednesday, March 12, 2008

Strange encounter

I'm sure we all have these days.... Days were you just don't quite feel so good, so motivated, so happy. I felt okay and then an encounter happened. One that if it had happened on a good day would not have made me feel as hurt as it did. I was asked by my next preceptor to edit my biography page (something they hang-up at the practice office) because a couple of the things were considered inappropriate and unprofessional. After she made her point, I kind of agreed with her (I said that one of my interests was being a groupie to my partner's bands) It was in a humorous tone but I guess it could be interpreted that I enjoy hanging out at bars while I wait for women to call me to deliver their babies. Although I understood her point, I felt completely judged and strangely, a little violated. I probably need not feel this way, but I have never met her before - this was my first encounter with my next preceptor; just not the warm fuzzies I was hoping for I guess? It triggered something in me; a realization that throughout this program I am constantly judged and critiqued and I am finally so sick of it. I just want to have my credentials and work. I am so tired of having someone, perhaps someone I may not even like, analyze me and because of the nature of midwifery, these judgments somehow end up feeling personal. I guess I am just having one of those days...

3 comments:

Jaci said...

I've missed your blogs! I love hearing about your program! I hate to say I think the judgment from others never stops - I know I feel it all the time - from admin, other teachers, the kids, their parents - everyone! I've definitely missed reading your stuff - hopefully there will be more to come!

Anonymous said...
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Anonymous said...

i hear you...big time!!!!